On my mind...

Why is it that when I could not online to blog I had so many things on my mind that I wanna just vomit them out here?

Why is it always when JUST as I placed my fingers on the keypads ready to type my head just goes blank??

I wanted to rant out so many things.
But suddenly I feel so tired.
Photos after photos are piled up ready to be uploaded here.
But now looking at them..............................
Tired. Dead tired...

Let me just mentally jog around my brain system and type out whatever that comes to mind.

One month has already passed. Am I doing good?

Honestly, I'm in a horribly stressed-out state now. I have never imagined something that I totally would die to learn could be this...... bad.
What I wanted suddenly became something I want to run away from.
Yeah. This shows how terrible it has been for me.

I officially hate university-standard assignments. In my course, Graphic Communication, our homework isn't stuff like PowerPoint presentations or doing researches online then print them out. We HAVE to go out of campus, buy materials and create artworks.
Like WTH, really. We have to learn basics from the Fine Arts class too. Stuff like what are lines, points, study of depths and textures. Thus, our tasks and assignments are overlapped with Fine Arts studies.
Just the APEX status is making everything hard for us APEX students. High quality, high standards, high expectations. All in the name of APEX.

I admit that I thought that Graphic Communication will be all things related to computer and therefore there's no need to buy materials aside from A3 paper and mounting boards. Our materials will be in digital format. WHO KNEW?

First and foremost, the materials are a burden cuz they are costly and are needed in a large quantity. At the moment my Uni life is literally going in and out of campus buying materials and rushing about to complete them in a really tight schedule. My gleeful imagination of going to Queensbay every weekend is crushed.
Heck, I don't even have the extra pocket money for shopping.

Second, in my 2D class, my first 5 works are all rejected. A total of plus minus 80 students, the "loso" lecturer had accepted only 7. Makes sense to you? And he hardly explains in detail about what he wants specifically. Only on the day of submission we get to know what he really wants.

Thirdly. I don't even wanna mention it. Just to make it short, I have no patience with extremely blur people. Not to make it sound like I'm such a smart ass and oh-so-high-and-mighty but I have had bad experience with people like that before and now I'm phobic.

SIGH. I've been on a very bad emotional roller-coaster. I want to get off soon. During the convocation week was by far the worst I had ever went through.

I mean...
Amidst all the happy smiles of graduates, there's little o' me who's down and sad and stressed out and depressed under the hot sun.

Damn 3 years course just for this few hours convo and a roll of paper!!!!

That's not the point! I really wanted to cry looking at them. Cuz I want to get graduated and FLEE from this campus right away.

Anyway, I wanna show to people my artworks that some are not assignments but just practices. Aside from 5 that got rejected and having to redo them, the rest are okay.

Fundamentals of 2D.
Torn newspaper rolled into balls of different size. Tedious work. Theme of assignment is "Point". Arranged in a way that shows movement and depth.

Visual presentation assignment.
Real-life object drawing based on perspective lines. Object used is my
K750i phone.

Also in visual presentation class. Object of reference is water bottle based on perspective. Tools used are black sugar paper and white pencil.
Tested out by drawing human face. I likey.
Somehow I feel that my anime drawing skills has improved as well.

Fundamentals of Computer Graphic self-portrait assignment.
The thing that I looked forward to the most.
PHOTOSHOP.
I got A- for this but I'll be redoing it for a pure A.
Cuz lecturer says center image (pic of myself) is not clear and in low quality.
I don't have digital camera with me lah.

And then there's 3D Studio.
It's fun.
It takes a lot of creativity.
It takes a lot of patience.
It's exasperating.

Nonetheless, it's fun. Just the whole material part and process of doing is a pain.
I literally cannot feel my fingertips after done sculpting my wire model.
I REFUSE to use gloves.

Mask wire sculpt. Chosen as collection. Done by one of the student who I guess is in his late 40's of age.
Yes yes, he is a mid-aged degree student.

Sea-horse sculpt. One of the chosen for collection.

Mine is blargh. Given that I only had 3 days to complete it. It's cuz last minute I decided to not make a full-body horse but only the head so I could emphasize on sculpting the fine details on the ears and nostrils.


The end result?


It's something that my course mates will look at it for not more than 5 seconds.
Can you even tell that it's a horse?
Looks more like a SEA MONSTER TO ME.

Mine was the only model that's not wrapped or covered in wires at least 50% of it.


NONETHELESS...


My model was among 7 out of 60 something works that got chosen as the lecturer's personal collection to showcase to the next batch of juniors.

Voila.

Though, I'm not happy. Cuz lecturer said this collection is a mix of grades A, B and C. The grading for mine is most probably C due to untidiness of work.
Worse comes to worse, I might fail.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY I'M NOT SATISFIED WITH JUST AN A-!

USM student. Kiasu guarantee


Basic shape before adding in details.

You say my course looks like a whole lot of fun? I'd like to see you try be in my shoes for once. I tell you, our homework is NOT IN PAPER FORM! And they don't cost only a few cents for one set.

Anyhoo, I tried my best to chill out (in order to prevent my poor brain from blowing up) and
to let off some steam by joining activities like the Picnic gathering by the lake that was organised by Shahua seniors.

I noticed that Sarawakian girls are very tam chiak when it comes to food. They literally take the meat and spare none to the others who are not their friends. Before the BBQ started they were already standing with their hands crossed and facial expression that obviously depicts "is it done yet?". Well, I don't really have a place to argue.

Going to church really helped my cool off too. The first time I went to Hope church I was really amazed at how different the praise and worship is from our Sunday masses in Kuching churches. After going to church I feel that the weight on my shoulders are lifted up a little.

Other than that...

I'm enjoying the Apple MAC lab.

Never used one of the computer since I have my own laptop but...

Who doesn't like being surrounded by this many Macs?

Sigh. All in all, at the moment I still don't know if this course is really the right one for me. English course is the one subject that I find that I don't have a problem with. Should I change...? There's no more TESL in USM. Is it a sign from God to tell me that I should continue with this course?

Yet again. DILEMMA.